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It’s a hard one to try and explain, but I have never liked New Year’s Eve (NYE).

At best, it is an arbitrary date in our calendar, which seems to act as a marker, a signpost for renewal and change. 

The one saving grace is that 3 years ago, I acquired a nephew (my sister tells it differently) and so a good portion of the day was spent celebrating that with him and eating cake - brilliantly made and designed by his mother (extra).

For the last couple of NYEs I have taken a selfie and delivered a summation of my life (again, it’s hard to explain why - maybe I am putting down a couple of my own markers) at the present time. 

This year’s selfie was taken in front of the Christmas tree and yes, it was a conscious decision to make it look like a star was growing out of my head. Consider yourselves lucky, the star could have been protruding from somewhere else on my person…..

I’m definitely a little more frayed around the edges. The eyes are tired and saggy, and the least said about the hair (none) and waist (too much)  lines the better. But on the plus side there’s……..umm……I’m sure something will pop……

As for the summation…well, my Dad’s present health (thank you all for your kind messages and thoughts, they have all been relayed to him) aside, life is pretty good. For the first time in three years, I’ll be ending the old/starting the new year as a single chap and in a couple of days time it will have been a whole 3 months without so much as a sniff of a date or going anywhere near a dating app. This may not sound like a big deal, but it is to me and marks just a little personal growth and some increased resilience.

My children are all working hard at Uni and school and for the most part seem to be enjoying it. There’s still a couple of lessons that need to be learned, but as I have discovered over time, reason and accountability only seem to come with experience. They are all loved and loving and I continue to be proud of each and every one of them.

Friends have played a big role throughout this year and despite my crapness, have continued to provide love, support and non-judgmental advice and guidance when I have been at my lowest. I’ve even taken on a couple of new friends for whom I am also very grateful.

Then there is the family. When they first said that they were all moving up to Kendal from Essex, I was a little uncertain. I quite liked the distance as I felt that I had freedom to be my own person with fewer obligations - I also enjoyed the excitement in preparing for our free holidays on our visits back down South! Now though and yes, with recent events in mind, I am soooo glad they made the move. I wouldn’t change having them all around me for anything. Turns out that my own person is quite dull and tedious, but moreover, I get to see my brilliant niece and nephew grow and develop, whilst my children get to have a great relationship with them too.

My parents, sister and surprisingly wise brother-in-law continue to be there for me and now - in some massively overdue payback - I can now be there for them and for that I am also truly grateful.

No idea where I will be in 12 months time. There is no plan. No blueprint to follow. I would like to travel more this year and see some new places, but outside of that, there are no grand designs.

Combining my vocation as a father and hobby as a performer, I think I’ll try and continue living my life according to the advice offered by Spencer Tracy:-

“Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture.” 

Probably easier said than done given that Panto kicks off next week!

Happy New Year! x