The moment

It was pointed out to me that the only blips I had posted recently were pretty downbeat, soul-searching type stuff.
 
I think that’s a fair assessment, because when I find myself in times of sorrow, Mother Mary comes to m………sorry, lapsed into song there……when I find myself in times of great anxiety and stress, I turn to the keyboard in order to process the feelings behind this, hence my only entries for the past few months have been rather introspective.
 
To say that this is a disingenuous representation of the current state of my life is an understatement. I have gone from the emptiness and tedium of lockdown living to a full, varied, wonderful and busy life.
 
My children are thriving. The Eldest – now a university student – is blossoming and is embracing and enjoying every aspect of university life, which makes me one very proud and slightly relieved father.
 
With regards to the wee ones, they continue to run amok and veer between driving me up the wall to making me break down with pride. But they are now as they have always been: sweet, loving, funny and kind human beings (mostly).
 
My wider family have now made the move up north and are all now fully ensconced in living the Kendal life and they too, seem to be enjoying everything that a busy year has had to throw at them. I’m lucky to now have them so close by, providing unwavering love and support.
 
Relationships continue to remain a complete and utter mystery to me. I remain in awe and envy of those who are able to sustain a long-term and loving partnership. If only there was an immediate and infinite resource of relationship advice available to me, maybe I could finally make one work!
 
Yet, in spite of my very public and devastating uselessness at romantic involvement, I have spent a large part of the second half of this year falling hopelessly in love and building a relationship with someone who has confessed to being every bit as useless at them as I am (it will only end well) and who seems to love me too!
 
We have had some very good times together, our children get along famously (mostly) and we are all making each other very happy, which is about as much as I could possibly hope for given my disastrous track record in this arena.
 
She’s a pretty private person, so I’m not going to say too much more beyond I’m very grateful for the presence of her and her family in our lives. Whilst she has taken me and mine out of our respective comfort zones and delivered us of some truly unforgettable memories, the most precious gift she has given me (a night away to watch Hamilton again running a close second) is undoubtedly the ability to live in the moment.
To be happy to simply live and enjoy each day as it comes is truly the most precious gift I could possibly take into the new year. Oh, how I wish I had something remotely adequate to reciprocate with!
 
The final words I have for 2023 are not my own, but borrowed from my partner’s mother who, at a recent family dinner, became a little sad at the thought of the year coming to a close and was moved to tears.
 
When asked why she was crying she replied: “I’m always sad to see the year end, I have such good years.”




P.S. With thanks to my sister for capturing my essence (it was also my brilliant nephew's second birthday today).