The Ants In The Cupboard

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

So just before I left Edinburgh, my lovely Princess did a lovely thing for me and started her own blip.

I remember discussing it with her at her kitchen table in Edinburgh. I mentioned how it reminded me of a line from an Anne Tyler novel about those little discussions you have about nothing in particular. 

In the novel, the character says she misses having someone in her life to tell about the ants getting into the cupboard again. Not because it's important in itself. 

The person who would find it interesting is the important one. 

You know? Someone to share the inconsequentials with. The little details. It implies a level of closeness that I have with only a few people. Of whom the Princess is one. 

And so our main channel of communication over the past five years has been blip. I must admit we have never used it to discuss ants in the cupboard though. It has been more about naughty cats, naughty dogs and bum jokes. 

But it has kept us close. The Princess has been so very important to me, especially in my first couple of years here which were really um... "home-sicky". 

And now she's HERE! 

I was so excited today. I got to the airport a good hour ahead of time and started working on a banner to greet her as she came out of the gates. 

The banner said "PRINCESS NORMAL!" And there may have been stars, hearts, a unicorn and a picture of the Princess herself saying "for f**k"s sake". 

And I stood there and I stood there and I stood there. With people pointing and laughing at me, and several small girls in pink trousers and pink tops going, "Oooooh! Is there a princess??" and being ushered away by their concerned parents.

WHERE EVEN ARE YOU???

I texted.

Still no Princess.

I wondered if she had somehow got past me. I moved to the baggage area, where I was subjected to fresh stares and mockery by the hoi-polloi.

ARE YOU HAVING A WAZ?

I texted. 

Still no Princess.

I AM CURRENTLY MAKING A TIT OF MYSELF BY THE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL.

I added.

Finally the Princess showed up with a huge smile on her face when she saw the banner. So it was totally worth it.

"I was having a waz," explained the Princess.

I know her so well.

From there it was like we just picked up where we had left off. Just a continuation of the chat we were having the last time I saw her.

I kept having to explain to my brain that no, it was NOT 2017 and I was NO LONGER in Edinburgh. 

Yet here she was! A magical Princess!

And we knew all of each other's news! I knew all about her trips to Liverpool! And all about EMP's new flat! And about Mary Doll's confusion regarding her watch!

And all about the ants in the cupboard!

I'm not sure if that's why it felt so lovely and so easy to catch up again. Or maybe it was just because Magical Princess.

Mind you, I had some magic of my own. I took the Princess to "Duke's" which is like the O'Neill's of Kainga Ora. This allowed Fazzy, Ellie and AJ to pop in and make guest appearances. And again, it was really easy - they were like old friends because they already knew all about the Princess and she already knew all about THEM. 

At least it seemed easy, from where I was sitting. 

At 4pm Jefe and Manda showed up and we all went to dinner at Master Kong which a fusion place that J&M love. It was funny and silly as always and once again the Princess seemed charmed and happy by meeting these people who have become so important to me so recently. 

Having said that we made a food faux pas. J&M LOVE the chicken wings at this place and so I ordered a couple of plates. 

"How many are there on each plate?" enquired Jefe.

"About three or four," replied the clueless waiter. 

So Jefe ordered two more. 

When the plates arrived however, there were about a DOZEN wings on each plate. 

"Maybe three or four CHICKENS on each plate," muttered the Princess. 

And I should add this was in ADDITION to our generous mains which also arrived. 

I mean. We did our best. But Manda complained of "food-coma" after taking down as many wings as she could. We were also very VERY sticky from all that sauce. 

It meant we were all done by about 7. The Princess and I wobbled to the train, which we missed by about 2 minutes. So we settled into the pub to catch the next one in 20 minutes time. 

And missed that one too because talking to the Princess is way more fun than remembering actual things.

HOPELESS texted Caro, when I messaged her. 

DON'T MISS THE NEXT ONE, FLAKES.

So we did as we were told and eventually got back to Paraparaumu just after 9. Caro picked us up in the Cazza-Mobile and drove the Princess to her lodgings for the night*. We agreed to meet up for breakfast the next day.

You also have to remember this is the first time I'd seen Caro in a week. She had just got back from Melbourne and so we caught up over coffee and she showed me her photos. 

It sounds like she had quite an eventful week, but thoroughly enjoyed herself. All the same I was very grateful to have her back. 

I only get to spend one more day with the Princess. It's not enough, but it still makes me obscenely happy. 

I have missed her so much, don't get me wrong. But thanks to her blips, it is also like we have never been apart. 

S.

* The Princess can't actually stay at ours on account of she is really allergic to cats. And Jasper WILL shed all over her. It's like a hobby for him.