Tit Over There

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Dingding! Round two!

Caro and I have just had another fight! It was not the same as yesterday's fight though. This was just two people TAKING THE PISS out of each other because it was funny.

Oh. Before you read on. You need to get caught up. The other day, Caro slipped on a big horrible hedgehog sh*te in the garden and ruined her favourite slippers. She has been trying to find a replacement pair ever since.

It started like this: 

CARO: I sent Craig a message to talk to us today.
ME: Oh yes, when is that?
CARO: I don't know. He's as useless as you when it comes to looking at Facebook messages.
ME: What did I do?! I was just sitting here!
CARO: Useless.
ME: I was literally just SITTING HERE when this insult came out of NOWHERE and smacked me on the forehead.
CARO: Well you deserved it.
ME: I was thinking nice things about you, but I'm taking it back now.
CARO: You NEVER check your Facebook messages. It is really annoying.
ME: I was just thinking that even when you're all scruffy, slurping about with your hair all up and your casual jumper on you are still cute. But I take it back now. You look like A MESS, Caroilne.
CARO: Me and Feefs always come back to messages right away.
ME: Well, you're always passing me messages when I'm in work, or in a meeting, so while I can see you've messaged me, I can't necessarily LOOK at it right away. 
CARO: Huh.
ME: Also. Me at my work. Paying for your 20 hours a week, just (VERY BAD WORD) saying.
CARO: Anyway. Listen, "Tit Over There", I don't have time for this. I'm buying things.
ME: Did you buy slippers yet?
CARO: No. I can't find any I like.
ME: Jesus Christ!
CARO: I am NOT buying any old sh*te, I won't do it, Symon!
ME: Why don't you buy any old sh*te just to tide you over, then keep looking for nice slippers so you're not having to go out there in socks?
CARO: I suppose I could.
ME: Huh. If you don't hurry up, I'm buying you Crocs.
CARO: Maybe I will! Maybe I WILL buy Crocs. What do you think about that?
ME: WHAT?!?
CARO: Just for going out in the garden. I was looking at them. 
ME: You've been mocking Crocs for literally YEARS.
CARO: Anyway. I bought a doorstop.
ME: What does it look like?
CARO: It looks like a tube.
ME: I see.
CARO: It is NOT a cat, or a dog or anything.
ME: Okay.
CARO: I will NOT buy things that look like things, Symon! We are NOT turning into THOSE people.
ME: All right, all right! Jesus Christ!

Caro returned to her slipper-quest. Meanwhile, I commented, "Well my blip entry is pretty much writing itself today."

Caro offered to pose for today's picture. 

As you can see.

S.