Poo Head

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

If you are surprised by this, then imagine how I felt when we arrived at Tiger and Loulou's cottage yesterday to find a wreath on the door, tinsel over the fireplace and a festive dinner awaiting me. 

"We discussed this weeks ago," said Caro when I expressed my surprise.

Well, yes. Loulou and Caro had agreed that we MUST do midwinter Xmas this year. But then they say that EVERY year. I had no idea they were actually planning on following through. 

But I'm never one to turn down an Xmas feed, so we sat down with Tiger, Loulou and Joshua to discuss how we were all faring and other intellectual things. 

"Have you seen the picture of a penis in a sandal?" said Loulou*.

She then showed us the picture of a penis in a sandal and wet herself laughing. "This is ridiculous. I'm a grown woman in her forties and I still find willies and farts hilarious," she added.

Honestly. How am I even friends with these people?

We then went on to speculate about President Trump's willy and the fact that Stormy Daniels said it looks like a small mushroom. "Maybe he could put it in a Crock," said Tiger.

Having established the tone of the evening, we went on to play "Poo Head" which was a fabulous gift from a lovely Princess. As you might imagine this went down very well with a few glasses of wine. "Explain the rules to me again," said Loulou. "Do I want the poos on my head? Or am I running from poo?"

Joshua took charge of the rules and carefully read out the paragraph that explained them. It was something about choosing teams and scoring and we decided that was not as much fun as just throwing poo at each other. Today's picture is Caro's "Poo Selfie" as she was the first victim, but you can see me in the extras as well. 

As it turns out, the cottage is PERFECT for Poo Head because you can run up the stairs and just DROP the poos from above. You can see a picture of Loulou doing just that to Joshua.

Subsequent to this we played "Balderdash" which I hadn't played in years but was still a lot of fun. Mainly because we kept going off-topic and talking about Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina. Apparently she has now issued a new candle called, This Smells Like My Orgasm.

"I don't think  she takes it seriously," opined Joshua. "I think she's just milking it."

"That's her next product," replied Tiger, "Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Custard'." 

Let's hope she wasn't listening.

So an intellectual evening of chat and games then. Obviously I had a great time and a happy Christmas.

"We're going to have to do this again next year!" said Loulou. "Next time, I'll even issue invitations," she said getting excited, "And I'll organise accommodation so people from Auckland can come too! It's going to be so much fun! Oh f*** me!"

"You're not going to SAY that on the invitations are you?" said Tiger.

To be honest, I wouldn't put it past her.

S.

* Google it if you wish. But I'm not getting banned from Blip.