Show Me The Way To Go Home

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

Day 2 at Kainga Ora and lots more documents to read. I'm at the "feeling really stupid" phase of my contract but am not overly concerned. This usually kicks in around now and typically passes after a couple of weeks. 

It's after that I find myself thinking it's everyone ELSE who's stupid.

Having said that, Kainga Ora seem very well organised and efficient so maybe it won't happen this time. They also seem to be very concerned about staff welfare which is very refreshing. 

I spent a lot of today filling in boring work declarations. That I had read and understood their responsible use of technology policy. That I had read and understood their health and safety policy. The I had read and understood their drugs and alcohol policy.

Wait. WHAT was that again??

It turns out that if you have JUST ONE cheeky sherbert at lunchtime you MUST NOT go back to work! Yes! Even one pint! I think even if you are slightly hungover the next day, you can't go in!

I flashed back to our days in Thistle Street. When we'd go into O'Neill's on a Friday at 11:45 and not return to the office until 2:30, completely w@nkered and useless*. 

(As an aside, do you remember the time we were so @rseholed we decided to go around and change everyone's nameplate? So "Saranna" became "Saranna - Queen of The Analysts" and so forth.)

When I discussed this with Dougal, she sympathised. "I know!" she echoed. "It seems so DRACONIAN."

A reminder. Dougal is Irish. 

Anyway. It turns out that it is because Kainga Ora employs lots of building contractors. And they really don't want even mildly pished employees in charge of wrecking balls and cranes. And since they don't want to discriminate between blue-collar and office workers, we also have to abide by the same rules.

I tried to compensate for my shock. "Well, you know, it's not like it's a PROBLEM for me or anything," I stammered. 

Which, as you know, is completely true. Weeks can go by and I haven't taken a drink whatsoever. But it was too late. I am convinced that my surprise has given everyone who works at Kainga Ora the impression that I am a massive lush. 

Dammit. I expect I'll also have to give up making blue meth in a caravan with Pinkman. 

S.

* Mad Dog, Auslaender and Islaynder, it turns out that the Princess and HER team were also doing this at around the same time we were. It is to my everlasting regret that our two drunken groups of Thistle Street employees never noticed each other in O'Neill's and merged. Think of the larfs we could have had! The jokes we could have shared! The dancing to ABBA that we missed out on! 

Gutted.