Rise of the machines

A literal statement rather than a Terminator reference. Next door but one is a building site as they start work on retirement flats. The old structures have been razed and are just rubble. Why they had to park their JCB on top of the pile of bricks and make it an eyesore above head height overlooking our garden I have no idea. Lovely sight isn't it? The garden otherwise looks really nice as we did a lot of weeding and cleaned the patio with the new jet wash, which TSM has become addicted to. I think she wants to jet wash everything ...

The therapeutic journey

Today has been a good news day. I haven't crashed once; just feeling normal tiredness from gardening in warm weather. Mood has also been better, I haven't felt as down. Three weeks tomorrow since I started taking the fluoxetine so maybe that is part of it; plus the break from work and the chance to reflect and be more assertive about what going back to work means. Plus not using Facebook, which has meant I'm not putting up with that poisonous nonsense any more; Plus the prospect of some counselling / CBT; plus plus plus ....

A day is just a day but it gives me some hope for the future.

Now for the weirdness of last night's dreams which seemed to come like some crazy series of kaleidoscope scenes unrelated to each other. They went like this (the ones I can remember):

I was in a pub trying to buy a beer. It was a dusty old place. The bar was nearly deserted but a couple of regulars were sitting on stools looking fed up. There were a couple of staff sitting on the floor not interested in taking orders. Another one was sitting on an old chair and wearing an apron and was rocking backwards and forwards, not making eye contact. I remember thinking "I'm not sure I can be bothered to make a fuss, this place is a dump anyway". Another barman came in and apologised and asked me what I wanted - fade to:

I am with Mr and Mrs Bear. They are cooking dinner but their house is falling down around us. Suddenly I notice water coming in through the ceiling. Their daughter rushes up and stands underneath as the ceiling crashes open and she is standing in a huge cascade of water laughing - fade to:

I am on a sleeper train somewhere in Europe with TSM. The beds are quite luxurious and I am looking forward to getting some sleep and waking up somewhere different. Fade to:

We are in Istanbul (where we went last October so I recognised it). TSM says she has found a place that does amazing healing massage. The area is a bit run down but we find the place. It is a messy house but somehow cosy and friendly. A woman greets us and invites us in. Fade to:

It is fifteen years before. I am in my ex-wifes' house helping to get the children ready for school. Fade to:

I am in some flumes at a swimming pool and I discover some people in a miniaturised boat who are out of control. They have been shrunk as part of a scientific experiment and need to get home. They wave to me and smile through the window. Fade to:

I am walking down a street. A bunch of gangsters are hijacking a van. I jump out of the way to avoid being run down. One of them falls out the back as it drives off; he is wearing a white suit and a fedora and carrying a tommy gun which he points at me and snarls - but before he can shoot me the ground swallows him up and he disappears, leaving just his hat on the road.

If anyone wants to analyse that lot - or sell the film rights - let me know ...