Bonkers for conkers

On my cycle home this evening I executed an emergency stop for a conker. Of course, I checked that it was safe to do so - no one was behind me. Or around me, or anywhere near the tree. And this is where I have a great concern - where were the children? It was only 7pm and I'm sure the conker and its twenty friends (I parked my bicycle and gathered up all the conkers that weren't squashed) hadn't just fallen off the tree that minute. So, why were they still there? I asked Fred this question and he replied, 'Playstation'. Really? It's a sad day when a 35 year old picks up the conkers that the kids don't want. I couldn't leave them there to be squashed. I've been conditioned from a young age that a conker is a marvellous treasure to be coveted. That said, I will hand them over to the first squirrel who asks for one.