Self Portrait

Here's a quick snap I took this morning using my new Holgaroid. It's not the first instant photo I've posted, but it's the start of a new phase of instant photography for me. This is classic Polaroid 664 and I'm loving it.

I went for a photo walk today to play with different films and get used to the quirks of the holgaroid. I dropped off a brand new Holga and some film with a local photographer. She was very happy to receive the gift and I know she will do some great stuff with it. Her daughter is starting an art course, so I'm sure she will make good use of it too.

I've had a lot of craziness going on lately. I've been having couchsurfers and it's always "okay". I'm always really happy to do it, but I've never completely clicked with the people. They're all nice, but, you know, we're different. This last one, a fantastic adventurous French girl, about my age, we clicked within minutes. We talked all day, agreed on so many things and even when we didn't agree we were still having fun. Without getting into the details she made things incredibly uncomfortable for me, we argued, went to bed angry and she was gone in the morning. Basically she wanted to do something I consider good and righteous, but of very dubious legality. She pushed me to do and say things which would seriously jeopardize my ability to continue teaching. Obviously I couldn't do this and I was really upset that someone I liked so much, someone I sheltered and fed, someone I barely knew but already did so much to help, would put me in a situation like that. I've had over a day to get over it, but it still bothers me. I'm left feeling guilty because I know what she was going to do is right even if it was illegal, but what she wanted me to do was risk ruining my life to protect her, not what she was trying to protect.

It's really too bad. I guess I just liked her. I liked her a lot. It's disappointing to meet someone so much like yourself or even what you wish you were just to have them stab you in the back.