What A Day

Funeral Day..................

It started with a trip to the shops to buy a pair of tights that the good lady had forgotten to pack.

Whilst there it was decided that the car was far too dirty to go to a funeral in so we went accross to the car wash in the shops car park. There were 2 Polish gents doing the 'pre-wash' with high pressure hoses, sponges and wheel brushes....and making a damn fine job of it. After that we were directed onto the rolling road to take us through the usual car wash. Getting the blokes to understand that the car Was in neutral and the handbrake Was off was a struggle, but we got there in the end. As the car was drawn into the car wash, the wheels started turning right........then left..........then right..........then left. Then the car lurched to the right and everything stopped.

There we were, half way through with nothing happening.

The 2 blokes nearly had heart attacks................they couldn't work out what had happened and again resorted to the "put it in neutral/turn the ignition off/let off the handbrake" tactic.

Neadless to say, that did nothing because it was off/handbrake off/in neutral.

They tried pushing us back out.

That didn't work because the front wheels had jumped the track.

Okay...........engine on/reverse selected and drive it back out...........with a struggle because getting traction on wet, soapy,waxy metal is not easy.

At this point we tried to explain that we didn't want/have time to try again because we had a funeral to get to.............Funeral??????.....didn't understand. The half dozen cars now behind us made it impossable to just drive off. So in we went again.

Thank God it worked this time -- neither of us was keen on being the headlines in the local paper.

The funeral went off without a hitch and in the evening we headed off to Derby to meet friends.................but not before buying a couple of cod 'n' chips.

Each one had half a stone of chips which made it impossable to finnish them - good value though