View from my room

This is the view from my isolation room, just wish I could get out there and sit in the fresh air......I miss not being able to be outside!

Hospital timezone is completely different to anything else! Had a rough nights sleep and at 5.30am I had bloods taken, antibiotics via drip and from then on throughout the day there is a steady stream of folk, Doctors, nurses, housekeeper, cleaner, food, water, tea, maintenance chaps.....all doing a fabulous job of keeping me well looked after and the hospital runnung smoothly!

Had a few moments of tearfulness today, difficult to see the light at the end of what, at the moment at least, seems like a never ending dark tunnel. Seems too much for my brain to deal with especially when my body feels so bruised and battered, slightly fed up with being poked, prodded, injected etc, all for my own good I know but I don't feel in control of anything in my life at the moment.

I'm not allowed any cold food or sandwiches for my meals or the grapes Mum brought in due to the risk of infection.....

I can't go outside my room just in case I fall over or mix with someone who has a bug.....but I can have visitors!

I need injections to thin my blood to stop DVT as I'm more sedentary than usual

I need injections to help my body produce neutrophils that the chemo has wiped out......the list could go on......

I'm rambling now but I wanted to write some of this down because having read my chemo diary earlier today I realised that despite going through some crappy times so far my brain has obviously filtered them out, which is a good thing and I don't want to remember them constantly or to become a martyr to them but rereading it helped my renew resolve that I can get through all this treatment and I will and along with the love and support if my family and friends it is doable!