Run baby run

Marley had his cross country today.

I came back to school just before lunch with mum to watch him, he did really well and despite coming about 15th out of 40 he said to me as he crossed the finish line and ran into my arms ' mama I won the race ' I just congratulated him and hugged him , in my eyes he won I wont be telling him any different and hey they're all winners right.

One thing struck me while I was there, some thing I wasnt prepared for.

As the little boy who has an intellectual disability crossed the finish line everyone clapped and cheered for him -teachers, kids and parents. As did I. The smile on his face was huge he was so happy.

I remember when kanye did it everyone clapped and cheered him. As the boy ran into his mums arms who was full of praise and love and feeling proud of her wee boy-my heart sunk and a pain radiated across my chest.

I wouldn't see kanye do that again. He absolutely loved cross country, he used to run and run, I wouldn't see that glee on his face as everyone cheered for him. They dont do sports events at his new school. I would never see him cross a finish line again, and that is hard. I felt like when he was participating in school events he was just part of the crowd, he was accepted, now I feel like hes shut off from any normality in a school environment, the kids, the events he loved.
And as silly as it may be to anyone else -when you have a special needs child the little things are huge- either achievements or in today's case end of an era even if it is cross country. I mourn that for him. I mourn that involvement.

I had a busy day after that running errands. Andre is on site tomorrow at a lawyer firm assisting a consultant, so I took his nice work pants to the tailors to be fixed and his shirts to the dry cleaners.

The boys had a good day, harper didnt get much sleep so he was a bit grumpy.

Tonight at Ferndale- kanyes school , they are having a meeting hosted by the ministry of education about ferndales future. From what I understand the ministry of education want to close special needs schools and just have the kids in mainstream schools with added support. We only found out the reason tonight and I have to say if it turns out that they will close and kanye along with other kids are to be put back into mainstream perhaps even the closest school to us which is where he was at, I'll be furious.

His old school had many discussions with me about special needs school and i was skeptical but its been good for him. There are parts that arent the same- his new school are still figuring him out, they dont know him like the teacher aid he had. She was like a second mum to him and I find that hard, there are days I miss her being there for kanye despite how difficult he was. I dont have all thee information on this meeting but I dont have a good feeling about it so I will write more when I have all the details.