I blame…

My good friend S who bought me the Owl cushion for Christmas. It has made me have an obsession for different cushions, these I have bought since Christmas. They all have different uses, ones for head to lean on, ones for my back etc. The Owl is the only one I will hug like a hot water bottle though .

Today has been a huge struggle.

I have;
Woken early,
Lay numbly in the quiet,
Cried until I was sick,
Self –Harmed,
Had a fast heart beat and strange breathing,
Tried to sleep on the sofa, in bed and on the floor to no avail,
Seriously thought of an overdose, laying out some tablets,
Phoned the Samaritans,
Thought ‘is there a point to this struggle'.