Faith, hope and clarity

Faith, hope and clarity

As I came out of my counselling session today I realised that I'm actually approaching a point where I can accept that I might not be that messed up afterall! It's a liberating feeling, one that I've worked so hard to get to but I'm actually nearly there.

I saw this word today and thought I wanted to use it as my photo of the day cause actually for the first time in a while I feel a bit of hope. Why hope? Well sometimes you have to spend a lot of time forgiving yourself for your mistakes, for having faith in others who then did things that hurt you, for not always being able to meet the needs of others, for not being able to be moulded into someone you're not and most of all for expressing what you want in life. I used to carry around so much guilt about the last part of this, thinking I shouldn't ask for what I want, thinking I don't deserve what I want but slowly but surely I'm starting to have faith that I have just as much of a right as anyone else to be happy!

One of my most soul destroying sabotage behaviours is doing things to please others rather than myself, it's a difficult one this one, difficult cause I have compassion running through my veins but I've not been able to balance it well with meeting my own needs and this has led to so much pain, frustration and fear for me.

Crawling, cause it really has been a hard slog, out from under this pressure has helped me find some clarity and now not only do I know what I want, I also know what I am not willing to have in my life and changes are ahead to make that happen. Now it's just a case of working out how to get there!

Faith, hope and clarity is my new mantra to take me into the future, are you coming along with me?