Day three: same but different

I know too much about how spots grow, ripen, split, harden, scab, scar. Amateur dermatology is part of the problem, I think I know best on how something will heal, that it will be better off once scraped off - but it never is.

Before I properly wake up my fingers feel for small tensions in my face, arms and back. Often they are probed and explode before I even know it has happened. Except now. This hideous spotlight is making me notice, making me see. I was up past 3am working and stressing. Usually when I'm picking, I'm in a trance,general life and love worries circle my head like planes waiting to land before they run out of fuel. Sometimes snatches of music or a particularly embarrassing or bad moment plays over and over. Doing this blog doesn't stop it just makes me admit it, call it out.

Today 5/10 - a lot is going on work wise and I was badly distracted by my skin before I could focus on it. Wore long sleeves and several layers to stop it and move on. Seems to be focused on this arm, I look like an addict. I am.

Heading off on a trip, will see if the panopticon of company and foreign location helps.