Day 4: made up

Made it to my friend in Amsterdam, unburdened myself over whisky, slept, listened to her new records over berry breakfast and feel wholly and entirely human, within a normative zone of human, for the first time in.. a wee while. Feels like maybe I blew the whole thing out of proportion. Or maybe the exposure of a blog helped. Today is about other things, so there is little to say about my bad habits. I came out the shower and was minorly panicky because of the red wounds on my shoulder and arm, but my friend didn't faint or scream, she knows me well. Maybe its not even that bad, maybe everyone has blotchey skin sometimes and you can't tell mine is worse than most.
I picked at my lips (i've done that since I was 2, that's not going to go) put make up on to cover up my arm (still scabbie) and put on a long sleeved dress, but its not preoccuping me. 2/10 - this is where I am aiming to be long term. Doing other things than thinking about myself. Off to explore.