Day 2: this is what I hide

strictly speaking more late Day 1, but doing this ahead of time. Bit of a lapse tonight (honesty, above all else) which is not helping my arm heal. It looks so repellent when I stand back from it. Cannot believe I am actually posting this. Most people have smooth nice upper arms, the skin there gets plenty of exposure to light, air and sun. I had to slap on a thick layer of make up and wear a cardigan right through a warm family get together. Its easier to hide in Winter. Summers are a nightmare, the fear of being seen is crippling, yet sunlight and seawater are great healers. I tend to open a window indoors for a few days first to heal a little privately before I am able to wear shorter sleeves. Cannot believe I am telling you this. Cannot believe that I think it, and think so much about it.

Moving to 5/10.

Cutting my nails tomorrow.

Felt a wave of mortification for starting this. How self-involved, how self-regarding, how narcissistic etc... I have a life outside of this, why focus only on this? but so far I am unable to work out if these doubts are excuse fire exits or important reality checks. Terror of judgement looms large. How you must think me a self-regarding repulsive fool. How much you would be right. I will persevere because I am scared. Fear, terror, stupidity and truth are within a hair's breadth of each other, only thin skin apart, not sure what side I will end up on