Day 10

I'm pretty tired today - probably in part because I was awake a good amount of last night.

I was surprised how well I was feeling for the first hour of crèche. No prizes though for guessing this filled me with anxiety. I did then get very tired and didn't want to do much. I felt uneasy: anxious and a little Iow. This was especially so once the mums came out of their bible study. I think I may have been rather overwhelmed by trying to talk to too many people.

Some of us went to have lunch. I continued to feel uncomfortable and anxious. I felt like people didn't like me except then I realised that I was reasoning emotionally. It wasn't that people were acting against me or not being friendly enough. Instead the problem was in my emotions.

Then I went to Lizzie and Anna's house. It was nice to be there with company. I went between low, anxious, empty and guilt ridden. But nothing new there.

Now I am babysitting. I managed to flood the bathroom... All done me!

I can't really face thinking about my thoughts or feelings. I think I am scared I am a fraud...