A trip out to Vogrie Park this morning with the children. It had been planned for a while so we decided to waterproof up and just go for it. We got very wet and had fun jumping in puddles and had great fun.

I stood back a few times and just enjoyed a few minutes watching the children have fun, laughing, running and getting right in there, going down flying foxes, slides, and having not a care in the world. Made me a bit tearful in a way.

The afternoon wasn’t so good. I felt the pressure build up inside me and I needed to let it out. Ended up in a panic attack; agitated, crying, and breathing really hard.
I got home and tried to scream into a pillow, but it didn’t satisfy. I only felt calm when I had cut my hands.

I still feel really jumpy and emotional and can’t sit still but I don’t know what to do.