I have booked my holiday which is very exciting.
 
You may be excited for me!

-

Yes I am absolutely thrrrrrrilled for you.

I am whooping about the office doing the Macarena naked and throwing streamers.

– SARCASM or TRUTH? You decide!!

Is this your big yearly holiday with all your mates and literally hundreds of children?

 Are you going somewhere warm and sunny with cocktails?

I was out on Friday having tea-pot cocktails at the Roseleaf.

I spent Saturday feeling very unwell and wishing there was a vegetarian equivalent of the bacon sandwich.

Caro booked our flights to Shetland last night.

We are going at the end of April for the folk festival.

You can substitute the word “folk” for “drinking” if you like.

Caro helpfully informed me that the flights to Shetland cost about the same as a flight to New York, not that she is hinting or anything oh goodness me no.


Hey Macarena aaaaiiiii.

-

On the basis that you haven’t been on the news, I have sadly decided that your expression of joy may not be genuine.

We are going to Majorca (make sure you pronounce it Mah-jor-ka like a bona fide tourist) with Dora and Dougie (and their children).

We are all staying in a big villa where the adults will mainly be drunk and the children will be semi-feral by the end of the fortnight.

It is a little depressing that flights to Shetland cost the same as flights to NY.

-

I suppose Shetland is expensive because the only other way to get there is a 14-hour ferry.

I suggested this to Caro as the ferry is supposed to be basically a big party the week of the folk fest with all the musicians onboard,
but she vetoed this on account of possible seasickness/puking-into-a-bucket scenarios.

She is the sensible one.

Oh Carol, I am so bored.

I was in a meeting with actual real people yesterday and heard myself saying out loud that I have ceased to care what they want to do—just do it and then tell me.

I sometimes think they just keep me here purely for comedy purposes.

In other news we are watching Better Call Saul.

I quite like it but am concerned it may not be going anywhere.

With Breaking Bad there was always the tension of wondering when/if he would get caught, but with this one I don’t really know what the point of it is yet.

That bloke Mike from BB is in it—he’s the one who works for Gus. I am assuming you have encountered Gus & Pollos Hermanos by now.

Here’s hoping that you are not working on anything pointless and stupid this week.

-

Pointless and stupid is a given.

We have just watched the penultimate episode of BB series 3 where Walt shoots the dealers.

 My favourite bit so far is when the Mexican dude crawls out of his hospital bed to try to get to Walt on the other side of the door.
I really like this series. Loads better than the first two.
I think Saul, Mike and Gus are awesome.


Get a contract in town and meet me for coffees!

-

I am in town at least twice every week because Sighthill is so effing boring, cr&p and awful.

This is me sugar-coating.

I go to Pret often.

I am more than happy to meet you for a quick coffee anytime you like so long as I don’t have to bump into other SLI people and pretend to like them.

I have said this before but you never took me up on it because you hate me.

Perhaps you are secretly jealous.

Yes I bet that’s it.

-

I didn’t realise that you were still coming in!

When can we go for coffee?

I am demotivated at the moment so any time suits me.

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch