Completely exhausted

Your gal's mission, should she choose to accept it, was today to replace the exhaust on her mighty Africa Twin. This shouldn't take more than an hour or two, she thought. It's only five bolts.

What it took was all flipping day.

The old one came off quickly enough, and for the first time in over ten years I poked at the rusty bit where they always rust – where the pipe from the back cylinder plugs into the collector box – and sure enough the rust was, well, total. I'm amazed it wasn't leaking. Getting the new one on was a task involving many rude words. The new gaskets were too thick, and then while trying to get one of the nuts on it dropped down deep inside the guts of the bike behind the engine where all the rubber pipes and suspensiony bits live. I found it after hunting for a few minutes.

Then it happened again, and this time I couldn't find it anywhere. It wasn't on the bike, so it must be on the floor somewhere. I turned the garage half upside down but to no avail. I climbed onboard and shook the bike every which way, I bounced it up and down and still nothing. Somewhat telepathically one of my neighbours came to see how I was getting on, and since he has a sailing boat he has lots of stainless steel nuts and bolts, so he gave me one to make do with meantime! Five minutes later while crawling under the bike I spotted the missing nut jammed behind the side stand.

After that it wasn't too much more work to get the exhaust solidly attached, the bashplate back on and the bodywork back on – I'd drilled my mended body panel for rubber mounts – and hey presto, it almost looks presentable again! I fired up the old girl and she settled to that deep rumble, with wisps of smoke emanating from everywhere. I thought the exhaust gas was leaking from both cylinders but I think it was all the silver 'high temperature' paint burning off a bit.

It was now gone 5 o'clock and I was absolutely tired out. So, naturally, I got changed into bike clothes and smashed along the road in mild temperatures to Mum and Dad's for tea. We had wolf fish, which I've never had before. It's like a cross between haddock and salmon, with a delicate, slightly crabby, seawatery kind of taste. Not bad though.

The ride home was dark and very wet but I was snug as a bug inside the torpedo.