A Welcoming Environment

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

I had an unexpectedly lovely day today.

It wasn't like I was expecting a bad day. Quite the contrary. It was another work from home day with Caro and cats which is always nice but what I was not expecting is HOW nice.

Thing One:
A Christmas parcel arrived from the Princess!! Granted, one month late but the NZ postal service is not the most reliable so I'm just grateful it turned up at all. As you can see, it is full of YUM things and we have already eaten half of the cute Xmas village chocolates and now I feel sick. 

I love that packaging Princess! That is so cute! 

By FREAKY coincidence, MY parcel to the Princess for her birthday also just arrived! Which just made everything even better*. 

Thing Two:
Caro had a chat with one of her mates from work named Debbie. Debbie is top comedy value and even though I have never met her, I always enjoy her conversations with Caro. 

The two got onto their "womanny bits" as Caro put it. Poor Debbie apparently has a "hostile uterus". I am not sure how this manifests itself but I have a mental picture of a uterus with an AK-47. 

This prompted Caro to talk about her cervix. Apparently she has a tiny one. "Effing hell," said Caro. "The one thing about me which is tiny, and no-one will ever see it." 

The tiny cervix proved to be a problem when she wanted a coil fitted. She was told that it would be hard to - um - squish up there. So her gynae gave her pessaries to shove up there to create a "welcoming environment". Unfortunately it did not work as expected and the gynae said, "Oh dear. I'm going to have to fish them out again." Words which make even MY blood run cold.

I am lucky I am not a woman. A willy is a much simpler bit of kit.

This led to the discovery of Caro's cyst which she had removed a couple of years ago. As you may remember she delighted in telling everyone it had hair and teeth. Since then, the Princess's daughter EMP has done some research (as a medical student) and told us she had come across cases that also had eyeballs.

"EYEBALLS. Can you imagine?" said Caro to Debbie. And the two of them were quite delighted with themselves.

I love these conversations. I hope Debbie calls again soon.

Thing Three:
Shenée called! I love hearing from her. She said Craig had asked if we had spoken today yet and I replied, "But we don't talk EVERY day."

"But we SHOULD!" protested Shenée.

She was fizzy with delight over the week she has just had. Still no job and she's starting to feel a little downhearted about it, but apparently Craig has been keeping up her spirits and I hope I did the same.

However, she had a great time hanging out with myself, Ellie and Corrie this last week. She was vibrant with happiness when describing her days with them. Also, she took part in a horsey competition last week and, "it is my bliss" as she put it. 

Apparently Finn the horse was in his element, prancing, doing excited poos, lifting his tail and doing "hello" neighs at every horse that he saw. 

"He's just like ME," said Shenée. "He's like 'hellooooo!' 'hi!" 'watcha doin?!' to every horse that goes past." He was so excited and in such good condition that she completed the course at a very speedy three hours. 

In the extra you can see Shenée in her riding gear. This includes a new pair of jodhpurs. She got the larger size because "CAMELTOE!" as she put it. However, she found the chafing pretty bad on her knees after a three-hour ride. 

It sounds like it was a big workout for Shenée and Finn, but the key thing is that she is back in the saddle again and LOVING it. 

And when I got off the phone with her, I could feel my spirits soaring. Or maybe it was the sheer amount of Xmas chocolate I had eaten. My point is this, I am very, very lucky to be married to who I am, and to have the friends I have. 

And also not to have a hostile uterus.

S.

* Please please PLEASE can you send me a picture of you with the duck key-ring? Shenée SQUEALED when I told her that it had arrived.