My Little Sisters

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I went into the office today. I was glad I did. Even before I got there.

"SYMONNNNN!!!!" said Jess. And she accosted me as I was crossing the road. I had to escort her back out of traffic, she was so excited.

It turns out that she is leaving Wellington and moving to Auckland in a couple of weeks so she arranged her "leaving" drinks tonight, even though she will continue to work at Kainga Ora.

She made me promise to come along and lured me further with the info that Ellie had also added herself as co-host of leaving drinks. This is because Ellie really IS leaving Kainga Ora to a job with better prospects.  

Ellie is yet another casualty of dumb@rsery amongst senior managers at Kainga Ora. She has been leading a team for nearly a year now, but they refused to make her a team leader. 

But great job leading that team Ellie! We really value you! But no actual recognition though! But yay you! But also p.s. no recognition! Yay!

It is this sort of thing that makes me wonder if there's some special Senior Manager School somewhere, where they remove your brain day one and replace it with an incontinent weasel. 

But both Jess and Ellie are loved. I went along to their leaving drinks and there were about twenty people there to see them off. This included Shenée who mentored them both. 

"Eeeeeeee!! I'm so PROUD my little birds are leaving the nest!" she beamed. 

This was after she had rubbed her bum on me. It's Shenée. She has missed me. I would be offended if she did NOT rub her bum on me. 

We talked intellectual talk, as always. Bums, wees, bogies and getting hammered. We're the smart set. 

Ellie had a story about bungee-jumping. She is afraid of heights but was DETERMINED to do it. 

"So I did what I had to do," she told the group. "I went out and bought the BIGGEST F*CK-OFF sanitary pad I could find. It was like a BRICK."

She mimed shoving a brick down her pants.

"And then I was READY," she continued. "I was OFF to the bungee-jump with my pants going FWIP-FWIP-FWIP all the way because of the BIGGEST SANITARY PAD IN THE WORLD."

But when she got there she couldn't jump. Just couldn't bring herself to do it. 

"Push me," she told the bungee-jump guy. "Just push me."

But he refused. They are not allowed to do that, he said. 

But after ten full minutes of wailing and crying and shaking, he gave in. "Ah f*ck it," he said. And pushed her off. 

"You can hear it on the video recording," said Ellie.

"And THEN," she went on, "you can hear me SCREAM. Only I was so scared it wasn't a proper scream it was like a BIRD CALL."

She repeated the scream for us:

CAAA!!
 
CAWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Like that. 

And when she got pulled into the boat by the bungee-jump crew the first thing she said, the very first thing as soon as she could form words again was:

"Thank god for that sanitary pad. I just PISSED in my pants."

I love Ellie's stories.

But I left soon after this. Shenée had to go and take care of her horsies and I had promised Caro I wouldn't be too late. Jess gave me a hug goodbye, and promised to let me know whenever she was in town. 

Ellie also gave me a hug, but didn't let me go. She was a bit teary, and I think she had maybe been thinking about what she wanted to say to me. She took both my hands in hers and looked me in the eye.

"I just wanted to thank you," she told me. "I would have gone mad at this place if not for you." And then she told me she loved me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

You were WAITING for me to say she told a poo joke, weren't you?

I must admit that is what I was expecting too. But no. Ellie was serious and I know why. We have bonded in our time together. I love her very much too. I told her so.

"You're my little sister," I told her. "I've got so many little sisters from this place... you, Shenée, Corrie, Fazzy... I'm so lucky..."

"But I'M your favourite, right?" she insisted.

"And you know the thing about little sisters?" I asked her, not answering her question. "They are SOOOO bossy! Do you know what I mean?"

"I'm the mother of a two year old," she replied. "I know EXACTLY how bossy little girls are."

"But I have loved being bossed about by each and every one of you," I told her. "You will always be in my life." And then we hugged again.

"You MUST tell me when you get home!" she insisted. "I need to know you are home and safe!" she went on.

"See what I mean?" I said. "BOSSY!"

But I do love being bossed about by Ellie. She does it because she loves me and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy and goopy inside.

I'm so lucky my heart could overflow. Life is good. And nothing else matters.

S.