Why Won’t You Talk to Me

Isn’t modern technology wonderful? No! I’ve been trying for a week now to get the car to talk to my phone. There’s an app that allows you to do things like lock or unlock the car remotely, turn on the heating on cold mornings, guide you back to where you parked it, etc etc. Sort of things you use once for entertainment value and then forget about. No, the main reason I need the car to talk to the app is so that I can download things like sat nav updates and service reminders - not possible until I’ve registered the car, and thus far this has proved impossible. My details are all correct, I’m entering the correct chassis number and, whichever way I do it, I always get to this screen which asks me to enter a security code that has been sent to the car. Except that is where it all grinds to a halt as not once has a code been received in dozens of attempts.
Went to the dealers today, but even their combined brains could shed no light on the matter. Downloaded an update of the app, reset various things on the iDrive system and confirmed that the car is definitely receiving messages from somewhere. Just not the required security codes!
After a couple more attempts - driving to different locations to see if the mobile signal improved - defeat was admitted and the car has now been booked in for the day on Thursday so it can be “interrogated” by BMW. Given that company’s heritage, I’m assuming this will involve connecting electrodes and shining a bright light until the car starts talking.....