Stop messing about!!

Look! I don't want to get nasty here. Just hand over the whole lot RIGHT NOW!! I'm not happy about the way you assemble us all together like peasants and then ration us to a couple of measly bits of brown bread each!

What is it with that rotten brown bread anyway? It gives me the trots - mind you, I suppose that could be the curry sauce and chips - and it just leaves me emptier than when I started.

How about a nice sticky bun or two? What am I asking nicely for? Listen carefully as I will only give you one chance to come up with the goods. I want one of those big crusty Farmhouse White loaves they do in Marks and Spencers. I'll give you two minutes to get over the old bridge to M&S, get the bread and come straight back!!

When you get back here I want you to roughly rip the wrapper open, and hurl the whole lot at me before running off in the opposite direction screaming. Got it?

If you don't follow these instructions EXACTLY, the pigeon will not see another sunrise!


Well, that's what happened! Mom certainly ran off screaming and I presume the seagulls let that pigeon go. Those greedy seagulls got two loaves of bread out of us in the end!

Track? This was a request from the seagull - I Want It All And I Want It NOW!