Going clearer...

Over the past few months I have been dipping in and out of the online dating scene and it’s been an interesting and eye-opening experience to say the least.
 
I’ve spoken to a number of women and had plenty of nice text conversations, some of which turned into dates, whilst other conversations which initial looked promising were brought to an abrupt end as without explanation the other party simply vanished into the ether.
 
The common denominator I encountered across the online scene (aside from snapchat filters, trout pouts, appalling spelling/grammar, stories of men sending photos of their penises etc.) was that in a place where you think you would find the land of opportunity and love, there resides a common pool of hopeful pain. A group of mainly lonely people who are hurting and looking for a salve.
 
Whilst not wanting to be a tourist in the lives of others, I did inadvertently collect some stories along the way, including:
 
“He wouldn’t own up to the fact that he was gay”
“He was cheating on me for a year”
“We’re no longer together but he has to stay here when it’s his turn with the children”
“He doesn’t want to see his son and has no part in his life”
“He was just really irritating”
“He scared me”
 
There were some who were there because their love-lives hadn’t quite gone the way they’d pictured and now were looking to address that, but in the main, people were there because, like me, they were looking to move on from a bad experience.
 
In some senses it is quite cathartic to share your story with total strangers. There is some strange release in diminishing the power and weight of your own experiences in the re-telling, particularly with the realization that many others have been there and in a lot of cases, had it far worse than you.
 
There is of course, also fun to be had. You would think that with sites like these where you can control the content in a bid to showcase yourself to attract a mate, you would upload only the very best photos of yourselves? Apparently not. I was privy (intentional) to lots of photos clearly taken in a toilet, aforementioned snapchat filters which had been applied so heavy handedly as to render the core subject matter unrecognizable, what I would assume to be accidental uploads and in another recurrent theme, animals. I have seen cats, dogs, chickens, misc other fowl, why oh why would you include these on your dating site profile? Will your wildfowl be joining us on our date?!
 
These sites are addictive though. Similar to Facebook, the app treats you to dopamine hits in the form of notifications lighting up to tell you who’s been viewing, liking and/or messaging you (apparently I would do well with larger women in North Scotland and Northern Ireland - both around 4/5 hours away from me) and of course the flip side where none of these things are happening….ouch.
 
Against this backdrop it is something of a minor miracle if you even reach the part you signed up for: meeting someone. Which is shame, because that’s where the positive experiences have come in connecting with some really lovely people who I’m pleased to say that I am still in touch with today despite a relationship not quite taking flight.
 
However, a week ago I decided to end my dalliance with the online dating world because whilst it has not been without its moments in providing me with new experiences and introducing new and lovely people into my life, for the most part I have found that it was draining precious energy from a limited resource.
 
To those players with the stamina to continue playing the game, I salute you in your enduring endeavours and hope that you are delivered of that which you most desire.
 
For me, I’m going to give The Fates a chance to play their hand and mark the end of my online era by sharing the only Dick pic I have ever sent…