New Zealand's Got Talent

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

Last night, Lemon's son took part in a talent show, doing a dance he'd seen on Fortnite*. Lemon had been dreading it. She called it his "Loser Dance" on account of how he does the sign of the L on his forehead. But also because it was just BAD.

"I've been trying to explain rhythm to him," she told me. "I don't think he quite gets it."

But as it turns out, her fears were unfounded! He was actually good, she told me this morning. "My boy was a STAR," she beamed.

Did he win anything? I asked her. 

She told me he did not, but that was okay with her. Unfortunately it was NOT ok with HER mum. 

I have mentioned Lemon's mother before. She sounds like a very intimidating lady. Apparently, as the prizes were being announced, Lemon could sense the index finger being raised.

"Always a bad sign," Lemon told me.

With her index finger erect and waving, Lemon's mum began to mutter. "What about my boy? Hey, what about MY boy???"

She began to rise from her seat; Lemon pushed her down. "Not here, mum, not here," she hissed. Lemon told me when she glanced at her mum, she looked like she was doing the pukana (bulging eyes) from the haka.

It was a good thing the event was at school, Lemon told me. She added that if it had been at their local church, her mum would have been up at the pulpit, berating the vicar by now.

"BUT - WHAT - ABOUT - MY - BOY?!?" thundered Lemon's mum. "WHICH ONE IS THE PRINCIPAL??" she demanded, looking around the hall.

Lemon could SEE the Principal - she was stood right in front of them - but Lemon feigned ignorance. Unfortunately, Lemon's mum must have sensed the furtive glance in that direction.

"IS IT THIS ONE???" she bellowed - indicating the lady wearing glasses - "IS IT THE FOUR-EYES?!???"

Fortunately at this point Lemon scooped up her son and escorted her mum - still protesting - from the hall. 

"I told the Principal later what a lucky escape she'd had," Lemon finished. 

I liked that story. It was a good start to my day. And I can't help but hope that one day Simon Cowell runs into Lemon's mum.

S.

* A young person thing. Don't even ask.