Taurapa

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

This is a taurapa, it's the thingy that goes on the front of a waka (canoe). 

I bought it for my dad for Xmas, and then forgot to post it, so it's still sitting on the side today. 

Dad loves this stuff. He has keepsakes from all around the world. When I was a kid, they were all around the house; decorative plates from Turkey, figurines from Iran, lamps from Hong Kong. He's also got big bits of chunky foreign furniture, including a table with a carving on it of an angry-looking man sticking his tongue out which used to scare me as a kid. I had to eat my beans on toast off that bloody thing.

Then there were all the souvenirs from my when my parents travelled around Europe. A big Belgian tankard, a decorative bed-warming pan from Austria, a Swiss cigarette-lighter in the shape of a knight's helmet, an ornamental light-shade from Venice, a bottle of wine from Italy in a big basket and a German candle of a monk eating a string of sausages.

Ooh, I've just remembered, dad also brought back this male wooden figure of a man stood in a barrel from Turkey. You could lift the barrel right off and - 

TWANG!!

A big wooden willy on a spring SPRANG up and twanged about!!

My dad would always get his little wooden man out at parties after a few too many Babychams and Cinzano Biancos. I have disturbing memories of our drunken old-lady neighbours tapping on his nob-end to make it dance.

I've just re-read that last paragraph. Ach, you knew fine well what I meant.

Whenever my mum would spring-clean, it was like stock-taking day in Ali's Cave. Collectible figurines mingling with horse-brasses amongst souvenir china cups and my mum in the middle of it all, cursing and getting high on furniture-polish.

I'm sure dad will find a place for the taurapa amongst that lot somewhere. Just be sure to steer clear of his on spring-cleaning day.

S.