Do You Know The Muffin Man?

My Dear Princess Normal & Dear Fellows,

This is Punky doing his morning routine. He rolls around and purrs on my chest of drawers, trying to make me late for work in the mornings.

It often works. 

He loves company. Right after I leave, he trots around to Er Indoors's bedside table and then wakes her up by threatening to push her mobile phone onto the floor.

And it sounds like the two of them had quite an encounter today. Here is an actual unexpurgated series of texts between me and Er Indoors this morning:

ER INDOORS 10:36am
I've got the boke. A guy came to meet "The Landlord" (aka Miranda) for the flat downstairs to quote on a heat pump and got the wrong flat but asked to borrow the loo as he was desperate and had eaten a bad muffin. Nice guy, has since left but left THE MOST HORRENDOUS SMELL. It is like someone died. Jasper isn't impressed and Punky ran under the duvet cover. I've had to open all the windows and let the heat out. Gross. 

ER INDOORS 10:36am
Interesting the boys downstairs are looking for a heat pump...

ME 10:36am
Yeah! We want one too!

ME 10:37am
A heat pump that is. Not a smelly-arsed muffin-muncher.

ER INDOORS 10:37am
It's not funny. I'm choking on my own vomit here.

I was surprised that Er Indoors let a stranger in the house actually. Especially because it was such a rubbish excuse. Whoever has heard of a "bad muffin"? A curry maybe. A bad taco definitely. But a MUFFIN?

I put this to her.

"Well, I couldn't let him sh*t himself in the street," she said. "And also I sized him up and reckoned I could take him, if push came to shove."

That's good to know. Punky, hiding under the duvet, would clearly have been no use at all. But you have to admit, he is awfully cute.

S.