Tuesday

Day 2 of days off.

Woke up this morning and instantly thought of last night. A friend gave me a hard time about my life. It's difficult to get it out of my head.

I had an appointment to give blood after lunch. The anxious symptoms are still there and felt detached and light headed with a feeling of energy running through me. I had the urge to hurt myself, felt like banging my head against something. 

Got up to the donor centre, and they couldn't find a vein. Eventually they did and the blood wouldn't flow. It then came out slowly, too slowly and I wasn't able to donate a pint in the allocated time. I now have a lot of blood just under the skin and a bruise developing.

Came down into town in the rain, and wandered, getting wet.

Home and closed the curtains. Phoned the doctors but can't get an appointment. Don't really know why I'm bothering, no one can fix it.

I'm rambling, I'm also quite drunk.