Monday

It's nearly gone....just lots of puddles in its wake.

I have three days off. Today was doctor, hairdresser and dentist. In between the dr and hairdresser I had breakfast in Porto and Fi. Lovely.

I found it really hard to explain to my dr what I am feeling. I know its anxiety, but I have nothing in particular to be anxious about. The symptoms are there; sore chest, shortness of breath, thumping heart, jumpy insides, fear something is going to happen.
I have this urge inside me to do something unsafe, but I don't know what. Self harm.
I knew it was a waste of time telling him anything as he can't do anything. No one can. That's hard, frustrating.

Hairdressers. A new one (to me) that is across the road. Surreal experience or maybe it was just the way I was feeling. I didn't really feel there.  I was the only one there and he was the only hairdresser. I got about 5 or 6 inches off, my annual cut.

Dentist. I couldn't remember why I was going but it was to complete the root canal treatment and a small filling. I asked for it to be done without anaesthetic.

Supermarket. No milk, bread, beans, fruit at a minimum.

I know what I want to happen but I'm not brave enough.