What I have learned from dating a Latino man:

1) The discomfort in our cultural clashes has challenged me to fall more in love with my own culture. We love to talk about our cultures and to explore it together. From Costa Rican tacos to Taiwanese pork chops, it has been an adventure for us. I was always accepting and intrigued by other cultures but was never able to see my inability to accept my own.  I thought I was accepting of it until I had to break it down piece by piece for this one man. I started hearing myself bashing on the things I never agreed with, instead of joyfully showing him the beautiful things. I remember at least two months into the relationship, he was the one who challenged me to see both the good and the bad, and be accepting of it. To be proud of the good, and wisely abandon the bad. I never knew of my own bitterness of the bad parts. I still have yet to discover the root of that, and I am willing to.

2) That dating brings out the worst in you.  The stage of dating is already an awkward one. You are committed to someone, but not at 100% because you are not married. Yet, through it all, they have to see the worst sides of you and for you to see theirs. At the end of the day, the question is, am I willing to be patient to see them change these flaws or not at all?  For me, however, it is also about asking myself that same question constantly. Dating has definitely brought out many sides of me that I did not know existed. I knew of my insecurities, but not like this. I knew of my pridefulness, but not like that. I knew of my impatience, but definitely, definitely not this way. It was always in the moments of my flaws when I was able to see Victor's grace and patience, along with my Jesus', and be reflective of it all.

3) That you really, really, really, have to trust God. For those that know me very well, I am a planner. I like to know what my next day consists of, along with the next week, next month, and next year. I tend to have an unrealistic plan for how my life should look like. But ever since I started dating a non-planner... let me tell you, it has not been easy (and probably not for him as well). After 9 months of dating, I have just gotten used to him coming sometimes "around this time". But a dating relationship is more than that kind of "time"; it is often about the "what ifs". There is a lot of praying and discussing of the future. A lot of unanswerable questions. A lot of "I'm not sure" and discernments. As frustrating as this can be, I can honestly say I have learned a lot. That God is good. Faithful. And kind to this little stubborn Asian woman. 

4) And suddenly, a lot of your decisions and life choices will impact another person. It is so hard to be selfless. It is so much harder to be selfless when the other person is not. I have caught myself many times requiring Victor to be a certain way, or to have boundaries here and there, and then me not doing the same thing. Or the other way around. Then suddenly, your usual life choices are not small things anymore (such as one-on-ones with the opposite gender,  or daily scheduling, etc.) because they actually have an impact on someone else. 

5) It is very easy to make the other person your idol. Emotionally. Spiritually. But it is in the moments when I catch myself worshipping Victor that I can see God more clearly. Because it is then that I can see how unconditional His love is. How perfect He is. How faithful He is. 

And how much more I am in need of Him.