This was our first picture together. You insisted on taking me downtown for our third date, then had your train malfunction for four hours, still managed to find my friends and I, saw me only for 2 hours, and still said you had a great time. 

I think it was then when I started liking you. 

I read through my journal entries from when I first met you until now. 

Man. 

So many things happened since then. We have changed in many ways... at least I have. And hopefully for the good. 

Some things that I have learned through this relationship:
1) You are not mine and I am not yours. I have clung unto you so many times, not willing to surrender certain things (and you) from this relationship to God. But He knows best. And I have stubbornly held unto you without realizing that you are His, and I am His. I am only called to encourage and love you but not own you. This is still a hard lesson to remind myself of every day, but it is a good lesson. 

2) To not take you for granted. When I brag about you to my friends, it is in those moments when I realize how much I have neglected your ways of showing your love to me. You hate using your phone and social media, yet you manage to text me (almost) every morning during one of your work breaks to let me know you love me and hope that I will have a good day. Who does that?! Even after our first mega fight, you ended it with a "I love you". Which leads to

3) I want to simply rejoice in the love you have for me. I should not and never will find a full satisfaction and worth from you, because Christ is my satisfaction and worth. Your love will never be unconditional like His, but you have loved me in ways that are indescribable. So instead of expecting more and more from you, I am willing to simply rejoice and thank you for the ways you have been loving me. And I hope I have been giving you the love you deserve. 

4) You've said to me since you started dating me that when we fight, we just need to work it out together. I need to start believing that you are not one to let go easily. You are not me. I give up easily; you don't. And I am very, very grateful for that. You have taught me how to fight wisely and lovingly (which is profoundly strange), and that in the end, it will be okay. I have learned much from you. 

As we are hitting our 9th month (WOW), I will keep to my promises: that I will keep working on being a better person for you by loving you and myself. To surrender you to Him daily. To surrender myself to Him daily. 


Thank you, my love, for the past 9 months.