Wheel of Fun

Today was meant to be a family day of fun. The plan was to meet Mum, Kelly, Steven and Lewis and head into town to the  festivities. They had a ticket to take Lewis to see Santa in Santa Land. We were then going to meet Moira(my half sister) and her family and go for a meal in town.

I woke this morning and felt so low. I spent the morning in tears eventually making myself sick as a result. I had this awful feeling of dread in me. I lay on the sofa and let the morning pass in a daze.  
I dragged myself up and showered and went into town with everybody.
Steven and Kelly took Lewis into see Santa while Mum and I wandered round the stalls, then met up with them and headed for a coffee. I just wanted to be at home and was unaware of anything around me.

I got to the stage where I couldn't stand it anymore and made my excuses and got the bus home. I was told not to do anything stupid.
I don't feel safe and just want this all to end. I can't stand it anymore.