Sorting and soul-searching

I have had the onerous task of going through my mothers old hoardings today. In less than 3 weeks the family home will no longer belong to our family but will be inhabited by another, beginning a cycle of new memories, emotions and rites of passage. Left alone right now in what has been a home for over 30 years to my parents, my brother and I and more recently, my foster sister Jodie, my overriding feeling is a sense of loss, for the house and for my younger self.

My mothers hoardings as well as keeping some of my brother and I's favourite old toys, have included text books from as far back as primary 1. I had to decide what to keep and what not to keep. I have naturally opted for the subjects I was good at, such as English and art. I have scoffed over the years at my mothers crazy need to keep such things, and yes, still think keeping my Brownie uniform 'just in case' is a little extreme. But, today I have very much appreciated looking back at the things that I used to take so much pride in. I have at times been transported back to the actual moment I drew a picture that I knew was good from primary 1 and 2 and remembered clearly the sense of pride gained from getting a great mark and comment for a piece of work that I had made an effort at. I have also caught a glimpse of the teenager that was me, brimming, as all teenagers are, with a natural creativity that was fed, nurtured and encouraged to flourish at school. When now does someone tell you to go and spend a few hours creatively writing or to use an afternoon for painting and drawing? Oh the sheer luxuriousness of it all, obviously much maligned and unappreciated at the time.

I am looking forward to going through these things more closely but as an example of something that I wrote in 3rd year, that I now think is hilarious and f'ing good, I am going to copy verbatim the answer I gave on the subject of Jean Brodie, bearing in mind I had answered all the others totally normally...

5. a) Why does Miss Mackay ask the question 'Are we down hearted' before answering 'no?'

Why indeed?

In response to this most question like of questions, which, if I may say so positively exudes eloquence, charm, interest and a certain 'je ne-sais quoi', I wish, m'lud, to forward the following retort; Miss Mackay, that veritable doyenne of an Edinburgh private girls school headmistress, in my opinion, undertakes to ask the said question in acknowledgement of the fact that the youthful array of faces crammed before her are no doubt pitched at a metaphysical plane correspondent to rather less than ecstasy due to their having to experience another term at the hands of the fearnone Miss Brodie. In jest (and clothes one hopes) Miss Mackay answers her own query in the negative, before going to to console the hapless pupils with the revelation that only a solitary session remains in this particular seat of learning.

Teacher awarded 2 marks and commented 'A most eloquent answer Miss Reynolds'

Well it made me laugh. I might have wanted to be that girls friend (or smash her face in, one of the two!)

Back to sorting and soul searching.