A little bit of understanding...

Apologies for the picture quality. It's lower than my usual standard, but due to me only remembering to do this blog within the last half an hour of today I had to rush it.

The things that make me happy...

I've been a tad of a miserable sod for the past few years. I could blame this and point the finger at a series of unfortunate events that happened started happening about 5 years ago. But why blame the past?

The past is what use to be, unfortunately this is what defines you as who you are. But remember, todays present is tomorrows past. So what better reason to make better today what you thought was bad yesterday? You live once, take risks, enjoy the simple things.

Today was an odd day. it began by me making a fool of myself to one of the people I care most about. I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I know I'm not the best pick from the apples that fell from the tree. I try to better myself today from the mistakes that broke me yesterday. I've never been one with the ladies. I'm not some macho hunk who has a line of girls waiting for the one day they get to be with Mr Drummond. So I can't say I particularly do well when it comes to charming them. My track record with partners has left me somewhat of a paranoid self conscious man who over thinks the slightest little thing. I can put this down to a series of bad relationships where I was taken fro granted, cheated on and overall mistreated. I can even honestly put my hands down and admit that I have let the past alter the man I'm trying to be today.

"If you strike a dog enough it's going to flinch when you raise your hand to pet it."

I hate the people that have crafted me into this mess of a man I am today. I hate the fact that I can over think the bads so much it clouds the goods. But come on who can blame me, If you strike a dog enough it's going to flinch when you raise your hand to pet it. I like to think I've found the girl that I can just forget about all the previous mishaps and just NOT WORRY! But I can't. I can do everything else with her that I have never been able to do with any girl before, and that's to just be ME. I can speak to her on the phone, I can make a fool of myself in public when I'm around her, I can do all the crazy things I do and not bother a wink about it, I can even attempt to dance in front of her. However I would be lying if I said that I'm not worried that I'm just going to end up making everything go "tits up".

I have a nack for thinking so much that I'm doing a bad job that I don't even realise when I'm actually doing something right. Today was a prime example of over thinking things and reacting the wrong way.
I can only apologise for the way I acted and better my future self by knowing not to let it happen again.

However I have to say I do give it to Amy for not just giving me the swift end of her shoe and telling me to beat it! What started as a day of me making myself miserable turned out to be one of the most interesting and fun days I've had in a long time!

Amy came up with the idea of cooking something up for dinner. I jumped at the offer as in my lazy student mode I seem to not cook much these days! A shame as well because I think I'd make a great cook! Amy decided we should try salmon with noodles and sweet & sour sauce. Now I'm not going to lie this usually wouldn't be my cup of tea, but where as Amy went wrong so far with advising me foods to eat. Before I met her I had never in my life tried Sushi. Now it stands as one of my favourite foods!

After us cooking dinner we sat and watched it disappear doon to our bellys faster than we even managed to cook the noodles themselves! I thought the meal tasted great, maybe it was the fact I had so much fun cooking it, or maybe it was the fact that I was eating it with the one person that makes me bring out the positives in most things! Who knows!

After we had dinner we decided to head to the pictures and see a movie. Pirate of the Caribbean 4, it was a great movie, but in all honesty my attention was drawn to Amy holding my hand and stroking my thumb more!! Something so small can be more entertaining that a Blockbuster movie!!! After what can only be described as an "eventful" showing we headed home as Aaron had fallen asleep during the movie and needed to go to his bed.

After coming to my house Amy had to be on her way... =( Needless to say this made me sad, but no worries! There always another time!

As I sat and reflected on the entertaining events of tonight I thought it's probably best to get the small things off my chest that were lingering in my mind, as I said earlier i have a tendency to over think the smallest issues, so I may as well get them out before they become something bigger!

After having a good little conversation with Amy I can say that I don't only feel one hundred timed better! But I feel like my feelings grew even stronger for her! I mean as I said before I've never really had luck with the ladies! So how lucky I feel that not only have I managed to attract a beautifully attractive and characteristic woman, but she also puts up with all my crazyness and hasn't yet told me to beat it!

Oh the difference a little understanding can make!

I don't feel that I'm going to mess things up as much now if I just keep my mind on what I'm actually doing other than what can I avoid so as to not make Amy want to get up and leave!

Here's to our impending doom tomorrow! If this is all true I can honestly say I'm one hundred percent happy with the way I spent my final day!!!

I finish today happy! However sad with the fact I'm without the Amerz sitting next to me!