Bunch of b*****ks

Obviously it's not. It's a bunch of ivy berries which the birds must be saving for a rainy day.

Today I have been surrounded by so much b*****ksannoyance that I have started looking around for the hidden cameras. I have even started swearing in French (to the endless stream of Paypal people I have spent the last hour talking to).

Going into details will just make me angry all over again. Suffice to say I spent a long time chatting with our Mayor (lovely chap - no need for any swearing or raheny_eye's stern words with him), then a couple of long 20 minute periods with the clerk of our notaire who was steadfastly refusing to email me a document I need while saying "oh yes of course I will", with a smile. She only finally emailed it when I stood at her desk for 20 minutes with my iPhone on the email page saying every minute or so "it's not here yet" as she, plainly, just got on with some typing. May her sniffly cold develop into some serious disfiguring disease.

Our notaire on our purchase has gone silent, so we're guessing that the appointment we are supposed to have tomorrow to sign the contract (we don't know what time or where or whether we're supposed to bring the deposit in used fivers) is off. Meanwhile, we now have no dining table and are eating off a wallpapering table as our friend came today and took half our furniture off our hands. And no washing machine which is a shame as all our clothes were drenched with coca cola in a sticky mentos rocket experiment earlier.

And as for Paypal... I'm not even going there.