Armed Raiders

The day started normally with a bucket-load of work to do - so much that I wasn't able to take a picture - and the prospect of working until midnight.
At about 8:30, on the way to going outside for a well-earned ciggie I came across two menacing shapes silently melting into the wall. Of course they weren't doing that exactly, one of them was diving into the gent's (loo) and the other was hiding sheepishly by the lift entrance, probably hoping I couldn't see them. I approached the one by the lift and in my best "lock stock" East-end accent blared out "who the f**k are you". This totally fazed him, and all he could do was ask whether this was the gym (there was one down the road).
I politely told him that he was not welcome here, and escorted him off the premises. I went back past the gent's where his mate was hiding and back in to the office to summon a colleague. When I came back, he had scarpered.
So that was all that happened last night, a couple of thick scallys had wandered into the building looking for stuff to steal, and I got rid of (one of) them.

This morning, I got into work to hear reports that someone's laptop had been stolen. After I told my story, the police were alerted, and the external video camera tapes were run. It seems these two had used a crowbar to force their way into the building.
By 11 o'clock, the story was that I had bravely fought off two thieves and restricted the loss to 1 laptop. By 12 o'clock, the story was that I'd amazingly fought off two armed robbers, by 2 o'clock it was three robbers, one armed with a gun, one with a knife and one with a laptop. By 4 o'clock I had saved Manchester from a terrorist attack.

The office manager was really upset over the fact that a couple of pieces of pond life could so easily enter the building and put staff in a position of peril that he made an immediate official complaint to his Director.
Previously, money needed to beef up security had been withheld on the basis that the loss of a few laptops now and again was nothing compared to the huge expense required.
Today, a substantial amount of money has been authorised to correct the situation.

I was interviewed by the police a couple of hours ago, and they see little chance of finding them. Even if they did, they wouldn't be able to secure a conviction.
Meanwhile, perfectly peaceful, moral and upright citizens like Dublin Shooter, face the full brunt of the law for a minor misdemeanour.

It ain't right, I say