It would be best if

I kept this closed.
Never spoke.
Shared my thoughts.
Expressed my opinion.
Fun boy three said it all..

So, on a number of matters, a range of subjects, I will maintain my inner dialogue, but refrain from verbalising or writing.

Madness is coming. I can hear it thundering down the tracks towards me.

In other news:

James was a STAR in his assembly today, playing Banquo in the Scottish Play. I didn't mention the name of the play this morning to him. Superstitious? Moi. Oh no.

I was shocked today when I figured out how little time has been spent with James by people who should know better in the last year. I knew it was bad, but I hadn't really assessed the scale of the situation.

I am jealous of my brother, who tonight is watching the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra performing Holst's "The PLanet Suite" which is one of my favourite pieces of classical music for so many varied reasons. "Mars - The Bringer of War" brings back VIVID memories of Mrs Woodward, my music teacher at high school, who was such a WONDERFUL, INSPIRING teacher, who gave me confidence, believed in me and tolerated my presence in choir and orchestra despite my obvious failings! We listened to MARS one lesson and had to write a commentary on the musical techniques, tone, use of the orchestra etc to convey the 'personality' of the planet that bore the name of the God of War. She was so involved in the music and I remember wanting to write down everything I was thinking and feeling about the music, but finding myself a little distracted by the obvious joy she had of music. When she left, in real terms, I lost the person who would have encouraged me to continue with music and who would have nurtured me that little bit further. Sadly, instead, my love of music lessons was taken from me cruelly by a teacher who I could not bear, and who could not bear me because I was not naturally and infinitely talented musically. Built up, knocked down. That still haunts me a little, even 22 years on.

Anyway, enough frivolity and sharing of my stream of consciousness. I must away. I have something to read. It's white. It's printed on paper. It's going to change everything.

How I wish something different had happened 6 months ago.

I will keep my mouth closed.

Maybe this would be more appropriate?