Bare Naked Babies: Prone with phone

Sneak peak of Natalie & Jonathan's gorgeous maternity shoot.. in the rain on the beach!

This morning I stepped out onto a garden awash with a thin haze of drizzle. Brushing my rarely used tripod against the rosemary for macros (and in the process of digging it out of the closet, I realised somehow I have collected 4 tripods over the years), I released a heavy scent of dew-ripened rosemary which wafted back into my office overlooking the garden.

Today was a day for action: I decided to paint the playroom after finding some leftovers in the garage, that room which had been Reuben's temporary bedroom for 5 months during our construction of a second story and the walls which were cloaked with formula from behind his bed as he has night feeds. I love fresh white painted walls and white removable laundered sofa covers over which I threw a new Mamas & Papas embroidered blanket. I cleaned the bookshelfs, sorted toys, cleaned the floors as originally I had been too lazy to lay coverings for the paint. Schoolgirl error in decorating. We used to spend so much time in this room, reading and learning the alphabet and I'm looking forward to those days again now that the crib and medical equipment are gone.

After his bath, Callum came with me upstairs to the new bedroom though he hasn't yet joined Reuben up there to sleep. He found a phone, dropped it and then attempted to piece it back together again.

Had little time with the boys today though during this but there was time for some stories and helping Reuben to read words aided by his knowledge of the phonetic alphabet.

Later... everyone's in bed. I've been down memory lane in the playroom, finding long forgotten artwork by Reuben, now safely in a folder, piles of paperwork relating to communication for a hard of hearing child, medical notes in the wrong place with photos of how his throat used to be before it healed, old familiar toys. I feel full of sentimentality and it's quite overwhelming. I was once a minimalist and the absorption and then storage of all this information was hard for me to deal with. The days when we would have an endless stream of therapists arrive at the home, PT, speech and deaf teacher helped us all get through the darkest months, but the amount of information that had to be absorbed sometimes left me feeling totally inadequate to cope. There was homework from each therapist, loosely given but still there, and I would feel disappointed with myself at times for not having kept up with everything. I could say it was because there were 4 therapists assigned, school and 13 doctors to contend with, but it wasn't just this, it was the fact that at times, I needed time for me, to write and photograph. I do feel bad about it. Feel I could have done more of everything, but I guess I only need to look at Reu's accomplishments to be immensely proud of him and be happy that, despite my failings, he has excelled.