that reminds me..........

........ok so today will be a bit different. instead of the pic being abstract it shall be the tale that goes with it. the shot is off me standing on the platform at catford bridge station. was bored and there seemed to be a lot of cameras around so i thought i would get one of me on the tv screen (look ma i'm famous.)

anyway i was going to take a shot of my sink which was what actually "reminded me of" the story i was going to tell but to be honest it was rather dull. todays actual shot ain't much better but slightly more interesting than the sink.

as i was saying it was the sink that reminded me of a night out a long time ago. it involves our very own LLCOOLJIM and my brother.

you see back in the days when i drank my brother and i decided to go out for a little drink. just to wet the palate. i still to this day have no idea why jim was there but he was. so we started of in that classic boozer the old chain pier. well i decided i was going to match my bro pint for pint (not one of my wisest decisions but i've made worse.) well i swear he almost inhaled that first pint and to be fair i remember that first one going down very easily too. so the second round was bought and jim had made up his mind that keeping up with rich would be stupid. he was right. we only had three pints there but i think we went through them in about 40 mins, maybe an hour. now i am not one of lifes drinkers. like many in their youth i could drink all night and show no signs of wear the following day with no sleep and only a shower to sort me out. however when i passed my driving test at 19 i went tee total for a good number of years and still to this day drink maybe three or four times a year. so as you can gather after those 3 pints i was already feeling a tad drunk. so onto the starbank for a few and at this point i start to lose the tale. the next point i remember in the evening we had made our way along to the stone pier (not it's name these days but i can't remember what it is now.)

i think we had made it to pint 8 or 9 and my bro turned to me and said you have to down this whisky. now folks to this day i have no idea what it was but you could have run a car on the stuff. well, said drink was downed, glass put calmly on the bar and i as cool as you like casually strolled out of the bar and introduced the whisky to the wonders of a newhaven gutter. so once that was out i felt a lot better and decided to head home. this was not a challenge as i stayed but spitting distance from the stone pier.

after a while rich and jim noticed my continued absence and decided they should have a look and see where i was. they realised i must have headed back to the flat and followed suit. i had already got home and announced to the room containing what is now my sister in-law, my ex and some other female (no idea who) that i was drunk, horny and then promptly passed out.

now about six hours before this our new bathroom had just been fitted and the ex was obviously quite proud of the new suite all shiny and new. so the other two get back and after someone waking me up started to take the piss out of the light weight before one of them (can't remember which) decided they too were going to be sick. now they had a great big toilet to throw up in but no, whoever it was went straight for the nice new sink. well as you would expect the sink got blocked. not to worry however when you have two drunken monkeys who think they are plumbers and decided that the best way to sort it is to turn on the tap and flush it away. sadly not to be the case. the sink filled up and the two of them were standing with their hands in it trying to poke it away. when the ex came in to address the issue they were waving their arms around and generally spraying trails of water/sick all over the room.

so ex not pleased and even less so when i awoke the following day. you it she had apparently asked me to go to the loo in case of any drunken sleepytime accidents. i did not want to move but eventually gave in to the nagging and went for a pee. so there i am happily relieving my almost bursting bladder and then i hear a scream and a voice asking(yelling) "what are you doing?", to which i replied "having a pee". this was then greeted with "not on my cuddly toys!"
yes folks it was the old "i thought i was in the bathroom moment", and i genuinely did.

of course when i awoke the following day i was greeted with a look that could have killed (had i not already felt like death warmed up) and a basin of hot soapy water. i had no idea what i had done and to be fair a lot of the tale(particualrly the end) is from the story told to me by the ex. i am quite sure rich and jim have their own spin on this and i would be happy for any additions or corrections to be made.

i have to admit this sounds better when told by the spoken word as it loses a lot on paper. for those of you that have stuck with it this far, you may be wondering why i am not ashamed to tell this tale. well i stopped being embarrassed about this years ago. most of us have been there at some point, the making a complete tit of ourselves while on the jungle juice (not peeing on winnie the pooh and tigger too, and a whole host of other characters. it was a huge pile of stuffed toys.)

so thanks for staying with my " that reminds me" story. hope you had a chuckle at some point in it. i'm now off to find something else really stupid to do.
have fun folks mid week tomorrow already, woo hoo