The Cool Uncle

Back down to Newcastle today for another funeral. It seems like only yesterday that I was there for my Gran's funeral; today was Uncle Alan.

My Uncle and Aunt didn't have children so to us, and their other nephews and nieces, they were the cool Uncle and Aunt with the slightly bohemian lifestyle, cool music, lots of cats, would let you stay up late. I didn't see them so much when I was more grown up: I went away to College and just wasn't back much. By the time I was able to afford to come back more often, he'd had a stroke and suffered from aphasia - so wasn't able to speak much and withdrew into himself a bit.

Today's service was lead by a humanist celebrant and was a very moving account of a life well lived. I learned a lot about Uncle Alan today that I didn't know before; that I should have known before. I think we had a lot in common. I know he was delighted to see me learning to appreciate the music he loved (jazz) and he laughed lots at us naming our son after one of our (and his - it turned out) favourite musicians. I wish he'd been able to help me learn clarinet. I wish I'd had more time to get to know him better. I wish I'd know about his fascinating life before it was too late to quiz him about it.

So, whilst I know his death was a release from the frustration that his inability to communicate brought him, and the pain he suffered in the last few years of his life, it is also a wake up call to me: to look beyond what I think I know about people. To always keep asking and learning.

The link with the picture, you might have guessed, is music. This is the top bit (technical term) of Mr B's saxophone - bought by me years ago for him, but sadly rarely played. My Uncle was a self-taught musician: piano, flute and sax. He played sax in a band for years. He was also into photography. How did I not know that?

This is taken with my shiny new macro lens, which finally arrived today.