Carefree

Today has been 'one of those days'. One of those days were I didn't have that extra hop in my step. I didn't feel that sparkle in my personality. It was just kind of a 'ho-hum' kind of day. I don't have these kinds of days often, and for that I am very thankful. I have worked very hard in my life to prevent 'ho-hum' days.

I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Now, at this point in my life, not the entire weight......several years ago, the full weight. I'm a very sensitive person and it certainly works in my favor when it comes to my relationships but I am sensitive to a fault when it comes to unnecessary worry. I hold on to things that trouble me for far too long. At least I used to. I still do here and there but have learned when to just let go. I spoke to a counselor several years ago about my phase of unnecessary worry and how it was starting to affect my life. After an hour with her, she concluded that yes, I am a highly sensitive person. She suggested that I limit the amount of news that I watch. Just one example of what I can do to take away the heaviness that I feel in my heart when I hear about a tragic story. The story becomes personal to me even though I have never met the people involved.

My husband and my parents have truly helped me deal with this sensitivity of mine. My husband's famous quote when I am thinking too much about something is, "thick skin, thick skin". My skin has thickened up a lot. I have worked hard on this. Very very hard. I have come to learn that I can not save the world. As much as I want to. As much as I want every single person to live a safe and happy life. That is just not realistic. Therefore, it makes no sense at all to spend my own precious moments worrying about it.

So when I have a 'ho-hum' kind of a day, I really have to look back to the words of my counselor and realize that I am having this kind of a day because I have been affected by an external story. Something tragic that I have heard on the news or from a friend that I can not do anything about. All I can do is focus on my inner circle and thank the Lord every single day for the wonderful quality of life that I have and am so fortunate to live. To thank Him for my wonderful family and friends. To realize that life is not always going to be carefree. And to learn how to deal with that.