The Road Tae Dundee.. and public transport.

Went into town with the son and daughter today. I know I harp on about this a lot, but...

Cold winter was howlin' o'er moorland and mountain
And wild was the surge of the dark rolling sea
When I met about lunchtime a bonnie young laddie
Who asked me the road and the miles to Dundee.

Says I, "My young laddie, I canna weel tell ye,
The road and the distance I canna weel gie,
But if you'll permit me to gang a wee bittie,
I'm getting the bus now in tae Dundee."

The laddie consented and jumped richt onboard,
The fields and the muirs we sped right on by
At length wi' the head o' the Muir behind us
The fields o' Kamperduin in full view we could see

We joked and we laughed and listened to wanes
Chatting aboot their Saturday night
Their baby was crying while they happily questioned
The richts and the wrangs o' the gay community life.

We soon came tae toon and arrived in Lochee
The laddie was tiring as the bus was now full
Then mair folk got on and wanted some seats
So I went tae the back and let them hae mine

A mannie wi' his wifie came up tae the laddie
And he stood as he let his dearest woman sit doon
Then tae my amazement, instead of my seat
The mannie squeezed the laddie richt intae the wall

Noo I'm only 5 3, but this laddie was 6 5
And the seats were for me, a wee bitty tight
So imagine the discomfort o' that poor laddie
He felt like a sardine, it wisnae quite right.

We eventually came doon richt intae the toon
And now it was our turn tae get aff the bus
We did it wi' glee as the laddie was squashit
And we were glad at the end o' the road tae Dundee

So remember if you see a tall young laddie
His legs get all squashit on a Stagecoach bus
Tak the seat when it's offered, e'en frae an auld wifie
That way we micht all arrive safe in one piece.

Apologies to the author of this traditional folk song. The tune can be found here.