Contactless

"I don't know if they take cash on the bus anymore."

I was in my parents' living room. For complicated reasons - too boring to go into here - I was taking the bus across to Heathrow from Worcester Park. This can be done in an hour using the x26, which passes through New Malden, Kingston and Teddington (or 'Teddiongton' as the Transport for London timetable delightfully puts it).

I'd left my Oyster card in the Lakes and I was wondering aloud what the cost of getting to Heathrow would be whilst checking the cash in my pockets when my mum imparted her concerns about my payment options. The idea that buses wouldn't take cash seemed unlikely to me and also, since my mum and dad travel about using their 'Freedom' passes, her local knowledge was decidedly second hand.

My dad kindly gave me a lift down to Worcester Park station where I joined the queue. I wasn't sure how many of my newfound fellows would be waiting for the x26 and how many would be waiting for the 213. I was concerned because I had my suitcase with me and I was hoping for an empty bus. Emptyish, anyway.

Well, the bus arrived and it was packed to the gunnels. A loose queue of four or five of us formed by the door as I fretted not about only about how I was going to fit on but also what condition I'd be in when I arrived at Heathrow. It was a chilly but sunny day but I suspected it was going to be very warm on the bus. The doors opened and we started to board. I was second up. "How much to Heathrow, please?"

"Sorry, mate, we only take cards."

Mentally, I was kicking myself: why hadn't I listened to my mum?! "Seriously?" I asked in a tone that suggested that my inconvenience might, in an instant, reverse TfL's entire payment infrastructure. "Oysters or contactless". "Contactless?*" I repeatedly slightly bewildered. The many, many eyes on the bus were fixed on me, an unexpected but welcome entertainment on the mundane bus journey. Behind me, I fancied I heard tuts.

"Here, I will pay for him". A West Indian lady a few years older than me leaned out of the bus's hot interior and gave the bus driver her contactless card. "Oh God, thank you so much". Whilst busily thanking this kind lady, I ascertained the fare - only £1.50! - and managed to get the change into her hand. My saviour!

*This is the first time ever, I think, that I have felt properly from the sticks. Although I have heard of the contacless card, they have seemed completely abstract and without use. This is the first time I'm come across them actually in use. Now I want one. Can I use it in coffee shops?