Supportive people

In the end I couldn't face work as I have only spoken to family over the last few days and couldn't imagine being able to concentrate at all.

I sent some emails and took some photos of B's cats as we need to re-home them and picked up some papers from hers. Then I met O at mine (as C was not at hers when she went round). C and Teddy arrived, bringing lunch with them, and we had a nice quiet lunch together and O was very calming and supportive. I took some lovely photos of O and Teddy together. They have matching hair!

I then spoke to R (B's brother) to reassure him we want to include him and A in the arrangements. I also rang S and arranged to see her for the day tomorrow. I am so lucky to have supportive friends and a wonderful family.

I've let work know I'll be off for the rest of the week. The post mortem results were inconclusive with more tests needed and so it may be a few days yet before we can start funeral arrangements, leaving us in limbo for a while longer.

I'm still not really feeling anything other than a bit spaced most of the time and at other times a bit manic. I think it's still early days and I just need to have some quiet space to see how I feel. Once we have been to the undertakers and start planning the funeral properly, I think it may all start to feel more 'real'.