Comfort food

Granted, its half an hour since I ate it and now I feel icky, but it was good at the time!

Sadly, by the time I got home this evening, I had lost my appetite. There has been a situation between a lunchtime assistant, James and two of his friends today, which at best can be described as unsavoury, at worst is utterly unacceptable and I am spitting feathers.

James told me what had happened, and then I put my teacher head on and grilling him lightly for an hour, questioning, re-questioning, backtracking and checking his story over and over again, just to make certain that I wasn't going to go to school and make a huge fuss and find I had been mis-informed. I then found out from the parent of one of the other children that it would appear what I had been told was accurate, as her son had told her the same sequence of events (and she had grilled also!).

I realise, being in the education system, that when a child or children report an incident, that there has to be an approach that is balanced and fair to all concerned, and that the facts of the situation must be gathered together before making decisions about how to proceed. However, if a similar situation occurred in our school, I know that a member of staff from school would contact the parents of the children concerned to explain that they had made a complaint about a situation and that it was being investigated and taken seriously. I would not expect that a child would go home to tell a dumbfounded parent of the situation, particularly when the child in question was quite obviously distressed about what had happened.

I gave myself some time to calm down, reassured James that the situation would be resolved. His teacher has completely done the right thing by James and is clearly following procedures, but the lack of any warning or contact has annoyed me deeply. I have composed a measured letter to the school, explaining that I understand the need for balance, investigation etc. I have also included a copy of the details that James has provided to me, so that they know what I have been told. I have expressed my concern that no-one contacted me. I have asked for contact tomorrow.

I will wait and see. I am trying to resist the urge to be the screaming, over-reacting parent. I am trying to be balanced and calm. I'm really trying hard. It's difficult. It makes me want to cry, scream, shout and be confrontational. The protective instinct really came out tonight, and I have a clearer understanding of why parent's arrive at school baying for blood. However, at least (I guess) I have adopted the mature stance - get both sides of the story before ripping someone's head off. I have a dilemma because I do believe James 100% - he is not a child who exagerrates or tells stories. This is so far removed from the things that James tells me. But I have to wait for the rest of the picture to develop, whilst maintaining my support and reassurance of James. Fortunately, he understands why I have gone round and round the scenario with him tonight.

And poor James went to bed, still quite clearly unsettled and not really being able to reflect on much that was positive today.

........Hence comfort food.

And now bath and booze (well, a small madeira!)