Laugh

Sorry, I know I'm awful but I've been away and my laptop isn't fixed so enjoy this selfie.

I wrote this a while ago on my other blog I have. I hope you all enjoy. It's a little sad but don't worry it's gets nicer.

Laugh

There once was a time when I never laughed. I never smiled, or giggled or even chuckled. Nothing made me laugh and when things were funny I didn't laugh. People started to notice how I never laughed, constantly making fun of me. "Oh brighde, why don't you just crack a smile for once". But I never did.


Don't get me wrong when I was with friends I would laugh sometimes, but when I mean laugh I mean maybe chuckle slightly. It certainly wasn't a big belly laugh where your face would hurt and you would cry with laughter. 

In early 2013 my depression really hit home. Getting to the point where I would hate getting up in the morning. I wouldn't want to leave the house, I'd make no effort with anyone and I just wanted to be left alone. I would wait by my phone whilst he would give me another reason not to trust him. Conversation after conversation about why he didn't love me, and why he wanted to be with someone else, and why, well, I just was never good enough. He wore me down until I was no more. Until I wasn't living anymore, I was just an empty shell of existence.

It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done was breaking up with him. It took me all I have, all my will power to press that number and ring him to tell him I was leaving him and that was it. I must of cried for a hundred years, feeling like a bottomless pit.


Pretty much, a whole year later (whilst giving it another go for a few months but just not enjoying it). I reached out, I climbed out of my shell and I returned to the human world with a smile on my face.

I have someone else now, and I laugh everyday. 


Happy Blipping