mourning the loss of a good man

a friend's dad died on monday. suddenly and unexpected. in his home. todd was a kind, gentle, and good man. he was young and full of vigor.

it's sad. it's sad that a good man should die. it's sad that the father of three girls and the husband of a fine woman should die.

thus is life.

my friend called to tell me. leaving that vague, ominous "call me back when you get a chance" message. the kind i've experienced enough times to know it means something bad has happened. in fact, i can remember the distinct moment when my mom taught me that etiquette. strange how much time has passed.

so. this is the kind of death that is sad for a couple hours, but will probably pass from my mind. and that is what is most sad to me. this man deserves to be mourned. he is, i know he is. i just get this sickening feeling knowing that my life will move forward as if nothing happened - as if someone did not stop existing.

another friend wrote a song named "sally." i guess he wrote it a year and a half ago. i remember when he first wrote it, it made me cry. the second verse in particular used to make me cry. i called him tonight asking him for the lyrics. he dictated it to me. i started crying half way through again:

sally died the other day
no one knew a eulogy
no one sighed and no one cried
no one knew that sally died

it's all well, it's all well
no one knew the words to say
it's so wild, it's so wild
no one knew the words to say
it's the world, it's the world
no one knew the words to say

it was lover's love that died that day
soft without a eulogy
he tried to sigh and tried to cry
tried to know why love should die

chorus

and time goes by

peter saw a death that day
thought it suited a eulogy
he swore to sigh and swore to cry
swore to mourn a love that died

chorus

time goes by

-justin locklear

he asked what made me think of it. i told him about todd and how it made me think of the song. then he asked me: "will you choose to mourn?"