Some late night gaming...

Today hasn't been a good day. It started with trying to push myself through staying at Newnham June Event as late as possible so I didn't look rude leaving early.

Then I had to get up too early after my late night so I was very sleepy seeing Katherine.

We talked about turning Scripture into prayers, especially when we are stuck for words. God gives us words but often in the form of poetry which makes it a bit easier to own the words than just act them perhaps.

Then we moved onto the chapter of the book about spiritual warfare. It was a lot about lies. Lies are the devil's language. He jumps on lies in our mind and spirals them out against God. He is subtle and therefore hard to notice.

We looked at how the devil is really attacking God - we are just caught up in the cross fire.

So we took the potential lie in my head of people not liking me. That sounds like it is about me. But when we thought about it, it suggested many things including:

-God's love for me doesn't mean as much to me as other people's implying that God's love isn't good enough.

-perhaps I believe that God created me defective in some way

-I must win the approval of others in order to be worthwhile as a person implying that God's creation of me and purpose for me are not enough.

It was challenging and I became painfully tired.

I went straight to bed when I got home and slept for quite a long time. The rest of the day was spent either sleeping, feeling ill and/or feeling sad/hopeless/guilty/scared.